Fearless - free from fear

I like that, I think I learn that everyday through life but really see it in action with my family and friends. I think we are all consumed by fear on various realms its how we deal with that fear do we let it win or do we move past it? I was scared to record a single in the Ryman Auditorium but I did - walked right up to the microphone and just nailed Friends in Low Places, okay I had to do it twice but Garth has nothing on me, nothing. Or going to the Titans game alone and having to walk over that bloody bridge to get to the stadium, terrified but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from doing something I wanted to do. This trip for instance, everyday I have to get on the road I am full of fear and worry but there are things to do to quell the fear and face it like don't stop at the unattended rest areas or the countless adult superstores....just saying. In any case my inner left wrist will remind me everyday to be fearless.

One of yesterday's highlights other then the recording session, the tattoo and the NFL pre season game was going to the Country Music Hall of Fame and spending an hour (shut up Tash I am sure she will point out I stood at one particular part of the exhibit for 45 minutes reading apparently you can access it on line) taking in the Williams Family exhibit. Man Hank and Hank Jr. thats quite the legacy hats off to you peeps and thanks for the being a key part of my upbringing. Pretty cool little place that was brought back a lot of Sunday mornings at Granny's old house.

Some people collect coins, stamps, bells, ya know, me? Me I collect foam fingers. I have four now. Red Soxs, LSU and Tennessee Titans and a special unique Bons one. On the way down I had Timmy Ho's as a my wilson, on the way back I have a LSU and Tennessee Titans foam fingers riding shot gun, every now and then I throw one of them on and just belt out country songs. The football game was pretty awesome, I met some good kind people which really has been my experience in the South good kind honest people. Its like utopia. For sure when I go back to South, thats a given, I def looking them up.

Today, today was all about God. My mom found a church for us girls to attend in Nashville and off we went in our Sunday best. Again this is where fear could have played us over but we were determined. We went to the Capers Memorial Christian Methodist Episcopal Church (its the oldest black baptist church in Nashville). We pulled up and I was like umm doesn't seem very big and when we walked it - it wasn't. It was a church that probably seated 200 people (not like that ridiculous cult last week robots for miles) and at today's service I counted about 90 people. We were the only non black people there and it was a bit intimidating because I didn't go there to exploit I went there to experience an excitement for spirituality. I had gone in Atlanta last year and still remember the feeling and the sermon (flip the script). So damn it I was going to find it again.

And this church was AWESOME. The service ended up being 3 hours and I probably won't have known but none of us ate before we went and about 2.5 hours it was like hmm is that my stomach (it was) but worth it. I think the most amusing part was the part of the service that recognizes guests. So like I said we were the only non-black people in the congregation, in Atlanta there was a mixture so I thought it would be similar. Anyway, we sat near the back and people kinda looked at us but went on with their service. So as the guest recognition is approaching Tash says Bonnie you and Penny are speaking for us and I was like what are you talking about? I thought okay. They had given us hello my name is tags - no really they did and of course we filled them out and put em on (bunch of nerds). Anyway the pastor says I think we will have our guests introduce themselves lets start on the left (we were in the middle). So the peeps to our left introduce themselves and then the pastor says "now in the middle the pretty girls in the back", too which, and I am not even lying we turned around and looked of course there was no one behind us and the pastor says "no you girls" and points to us and the whole congregation starts to laugh. Right, right us well I am Bonnie from Canada and after that it was all good.

We stayed right to the end and a lot of the parishioners came and thanked us for coming and invited us to stay for pizza and refreshments. It was an excellent way to finish my time in the South.

Someone asked me how my vacation was and I said "it was the right thing to do at a much needed time". I feel good about my decisions, feel good about myself and letting myself do things that made me feel a little fear and then to face it. So big ups to TBouds, ICarly, TexMex, Tash, Penny, Gail, Tracie and Joe I totally and absolutely without a doubt valued every minute spent, every experience and every fear faced. Thank you.

Mawkward

Finally defined clearly as going to the Coyote Ugly bar in Nashville with your parents and participating in the fun. For example drawing the dirtiest picture on the bar in chalk ... does anyone really want to know what their parents consider dirty? Or having your mom get up on the bar and dance while your dad mimics the same moves all the while you are recording on your camera...yeah I am gonna say that would be mawkward. FYI I drew a couple in a mud bath - get it - dirty. The father drew, well I don't even want to write it down just inapp.

The Ryman hey, kinda big deal so me being there was like an even bigger deal. I gotta go back today and record a record and I am not even kidding of course my first 10 fans will get a copy free. Just fb me.

I have been appreciating the night life in Nashville, always enjoy a cold glass of water and some country music playing quietly in the background. But tonight imma shake it up and see if I can get a ticket to the Titans/Vikings pre season game. I guess I will check out this tailgating phenomenon, I am sure it will be just a couple cars in the parking lot :) waa I will probably be married by the end of the night. Some nice gentleman named Beau who has his own double wide in Butcher Holler and of course a chevy pick up.

Then Church tomorrow, man I love the south.

5.57 am

Why 5.57 am? That be the time that the construction workers decided to detonate some explosives outside our hotel window. Like really. Imagine four women sleeping soundly and are awoken by the building shaking in a southern town. My first thought was earthquake then I thought wait we aren't on a fault line, I went to the window and looked and the we were enveloped in the plume of smoke. Geez louise boys could it not have been 7.57.


what was more amusing was Tash asking if someone fell out of the bed - um okay and shook the hotel, cman.

The drive to Nashville was awesome I can't articulate enough how beautfiul the south is. Just lush and green and the friendliest people well my experiences. Everyone says dear to me, thanks dear, yes dear, what can I get for you dear makes me smile. We should bring that back.

I did drive a tad above the speed limit in order to get to the Jack Daniels distillery so I can thoughtfully buy something for family members. Thing was its only open to 4.30 and I left Baton Rouge at 7.30 I got there at 4.12 :) I was definately sad to leave TBouds and ICarly those two are such empowering women. Thank you thank you thank you Ibow to you, I miss you already.

Big ups to my momsie Carol, she found us a baptist church to go to on Sunday in Nashville, round two for Church :) and maybe a Titans game tomorrow night.

Pass and move

aww my last night in the dirty south :( I managed to go and watch the LSU Tigers scrimmage tonight all part of my new goal to learn about women's soccer. What I learned was "pass and move". New mantra PASS AND MOVE.

Like last year, I absolutely loved my time here just head over heels - the people, the environment, the weather, the food - exactly what I needed for right now. I am where I am supposed to be and it feels great. I am leaving empowered, energized and tanned :p. Spending time with TBouds and ICarly is in itself a welcome opportunity that I relished even if they took me to a crazy town cult. I finally found a purpose with them other then ensuring there is hard boiled eggs - popcorn maker. Next I might even turn on the oven and make a roast but not in this bloody heat.

In the days events, I attended a press conference with TBouds as their couch laid out what their expectations are this season. One of the key messages delivered was the importance of the three senior Canadian team members on the team, his actual words "three of the best youth soccer players has Canada has produced in the last five years". Um big surprise I wanted to say excuse me coach we have a few things you might want to reproduce....just sayin. Anyway, I was impressed at the media turnout all the majors, locals and ESPN. And they interviewed TBouds about what her experience has been in Louisiana. TBouds handled herself like a pro, was engaging and clearly articulated the upcoming season. For those of you on Facebook you can like the LSU Soccer page and stay on top of the how things are going.

ICarly also took me to the LSU Tigers football stadium and um holy macarena its seats 92 000 people. Um really and it sells out every game. Standing in an empty stadium that seats that many people I was like omd this is like Any Given Sunday. I wanted to run on the field and yell around but I was not to take one step on the grass.

All in all it really gave perspective to the importance of sports at the college level and what it brings to the athletes in terms of confidence, growth and independence. BTW TBouds and ICarly's roommate, Tex, is a leader in kill shots for the LSU women's volleyball team. My paltry 5 km run everyday didn't cut the snuff. TBouds top 100 draft pick potential, ICarly leading scorer and Tex leader in kill shots - no shit pass and move.

Tomorrow I am off to Nashville for the weekend to meet some friends to take in the country music scene and think that will be pretty damn stellar and I fully expect to see Taylor Swift. I am sure we will duet "Love Story" at the Stage. Likely another career opportunity. I will probably belt out a tune at a karaoke, ya know the ones where the tv is outside on the street and wow the crowd inside and out. Let's not be modest here.

But first stop Lynchburg, Tennessee to visit my friend Jack :p

the calories from a big mac can power a car for 88 miles...just sayin

32 degrees this morning, that's jacket weather; like who ordered the snow. Thankfully by noon it was 40 degrees and all was restored to the natural universe. I forgot to mention in my Sunday blog that I had to call my mom to ask her how to boil eggs, true story. And btw I did it wrong - who knew you had to put the eggs in the water and then start to boil....who knew I ask? ICarly knew and didn't say a bloody word until the end when she made some thoughtful suggestions. Yeah love her. I made eggs the next day and accordingto ICarly aka Wolfgang Puck I needed to leave them longer....however today was SUCCESS. Therefore for anyone that visits or invites me to any potlucks my stable will be to bring hard boiled eggs. I am looking forward to the influx of invitations.

In pretty damn amazing news, TBouds was named as top 100 prospect to the 2012 women's professional soccer league draft. UM WAY TO GO HOMEY!!! Super proud of TBouds like I was woohooing around the house. TBouds on the other hand, kept reading the article over and over in disbelief while ICarly and I are doing happy dances all over. ICarly is not without her own recognition as she is top scorer for LSU. Like imma chillen with superstars lucky I add to it.I noted TBouds and ICarly are going to need an agent. So I casually said Jerry Maguire to which TBouds roomie Tex said "who's Jerry Maguire?" and I just aged. Thanks Tex.

I will be their Ari Gold. I am going to learn all about women's soccer like did you know its not a soccer field its a pitch. When I get home I will re-watch Bend It Like Beckham I expect from there it will be gravy "What happened to Jasminda's shoes?"

While Sunday Funday was no phone day, yesterday was don't leave the house day and I loved it. I was ridiculous about my hermit mode. I ventured out to do my run and get margaritas to go (brilliant idea btw).

Today was different, after top 100 TBouds was announced the family started sending in orders for LSU gear. So off I went to shop, for those of you who know me I despise shopping, like really hate it. And to shop in 110 heat um harsh. But in between my shopping excursions I went to my tattoo appointment. This time the meaning behind the design, the design that forever mars my body and risk disease (according to my sister), is about my three nieces. So I added to the olive branch I got last year with three birds (just outlines with some colour in the wing that reps the colours they were given). Those kids, despite what I may tease em about, bring peace, tranquility and stability to me and believe me I need it. Plus I am the only auntie/uncle to rep them so that's got get me some street cred when I am older and need it.

The tattoo store owner recommended voodoo bbq for supper and man alive that has been the best meal I have had in Baton Rouge yet. Oh. My. God (that is for the Bethany Church readers) it was freakin amazing. Best bbq ever with just a ridiculous amount of spice added MOUTH ON FIRE. Whomever is in Baton Rouge def a must go to.

For those of you who read last year, a lot of the nights focused on MTV and the intellectual shows they have produced and this year is no different. As we speak we are watching the new Teen Mom (insert giddy laughter here) but as a shift I made popcorn on the stove which ICarly and TBouds have called it Indian Popcorn - I think cuz an Indian made it otherwise not sure how it became Indian Popcorn. So as I sit and type its quiet save for the typing on the keyboard which every few moments gains me dirty looks.

It suxs to know that in two sleeps I will begin the journey back as I have completely without a doubt enjoyed my time here and loved spending time with TBouds and ICarly. For two women that are embarking on their lives they display such intellect, independence, fearlessness, and kindness that at 21 I know I did not have. I would also like some of TBoud's clothes. So to you two creepers that are reading this - I love ya and to your families - outstanding and thank you.

Tomorrow I will probably drink as much red bull as possible just to spite ICarly, kidding, I am going to take some pics of the city as it is has such beautiful architecture. Yeah me and Brad Pitt tweet about architecture (I had to look up the spelling of the word). And I still haven't figured out how to post pics but damn it I will learn and maybe just maybe have some Cane's to munch on. Google Cane's just do it.

Until then - show me the money........

Sunday Funday

Firstly I think we, we meaning TBoud's family, should be concerned about the church she goes to or anybody that willingly goes to Bethany Church. I thought it odd that ICarly was no pumped to go to Church, she had this arched eyebrow look that suggested a smdh (shakin my damn head) attitude. But I was sure this was going to be in the same vein as a southern baptist church complete with dancing, singing, good love preaching and celebration. Unfortunately, TBoud's goes to a cult a wacked out, right wing, hate mongering cult. True story.

I guess when TBouds yelled at me in the parking lot that a bud light back pack (there wasn't Bud Light in it) wasn't appropriate I should have stopped, dropped and ran. I was in my Sunday finest though (yes I wore a skirt and nice top - I thought I would be dancing in the aisles (I didn't). Anyway, I walk into this ridiculous oversize room with robots (okay, okay they were humans but they acted like robots during the service/koolaid drinking) and a tv crew set up. This can't be right. There was a couch on stage (yes there was a stage) like where was I an elaborate Oprah set - wtf.

I won't even get into the shocking comments the lead kool aid giver said just that it was close minded, shockingly full of negative and hate and pathetic. Bethany Church you can kiss my Indian, open minded, accordingly to you faithless ass. So what did I do about 20 min into the service I started to play angry bird. I actually completed a few tough levels but not to the dismay of the lady behind me "um can you go do that outside?" "Um...hmm...no". Or the lady beside me who felt to write me a note during the service (THE GAME WAS ON SILENT BTW nosy old bitches). So I am sitting there and every know and then he would play a clip about what is wrong with society and he plays this one from Modern Family with the two gay guys and they say "we are queer and we are here" and then morphs it into some like weird audio repeating the line. I felt it appropriate to clap. No one else did.

I particularly liked the whole dialogue on consumerism and the attainment of money and how that is wrong and then in the next breath sent a pot around asking for money. I took some out.

In the end the lady beside me really did write me a note and tapped me on the arm - while I was on a particularly difficult level - and put it beside me. I didn't even blink after the service I got up and left unfortunately she chased TBouds down (her and her damn broken toe) and gave her the note. TBouds also gave her my name. Gawd there is some robot in Louisiana praying for my soul as I type. TBouds proceeds to bring the note to the car and hands it to me. WTF. I threw it on the ground. I am not a litterer, however I felt that Church parking lot needed some impurity. I never did read the note but of course nosy Nora TBouds did and said it something about God loving me. Right. Anyway, big ups to Peter for the Bad Meets Evil CD because I opened up the windows and played it on top volume as I drove outta there.

Church was a miss but I think they have church on Wednesday so I am gonna find HIM/HER damn it.

After being told what a bad person I was, who doesn't want to have Joe's Crab Shack for lunch? hmmm if in Baton Rouge, Joe's Crab Shack mmm mmmm so good. Then it was off to a good old bayou swamp tour. Um awesome in the 106 degree heat, like no really it was friggen amazing. So much fun. Butch and Shawn of cajuncountrytours.com are kick ass. We saw everything blue herons, egrets, red something or other herons, swallows, huge like Harry Potter size spiders, alligators, frogs....it was like the Princess and the Frog without all the overt racism.

It was just a regular 10 seater boat and the way you would imagine how a swamp/lake would look. And he took us all in the backwater areas...showing us around and kinda being humourous. I had to stop turning around and looking at him because his zipper was wide open the entire tour.....nicely done. K but anyway, he's telling us about this nature hike he is going to drop us off on and pick us up on the other side and we will see raccoons and all sorts of bayou animals. I start to think like really raccoons can live in the same area as alligators? That can't be right like it impacts the cycle of life. How does that work? Whatever I guess and plus there really is no "trail". So as I am considering my hike in the bayou at 106 degrees, an alligator pops up mouth open on the left side of the boat. People are screaming, I can't see shit but I do see ICarly jump out of her seat and stand up. Like she was gonna wrestle the damn thing. That kid had no fear whatsoever. Man TBouds and I laughed. Meanwhile, old broken toe, was thinking to herself there is no way I am getting out of this boat and walking. She said when that alligator lifted its head out of the water she didn't scream, she just stopped breathing. Shit after that it was giggle fits.

Like I said the guy would tell us different things about the bayou and the nature within it. At one point he is telling us about nymph (sp) flies. Little tiny flies that fly around. But about 3 feet away from us was an alligator resting full body out of water on a rock. Um Shawn nobody cares about the bloody nymph flies we are about the 100 lb carnivorous animal 3 feet away. That was until he lured a baby alligator to the boat and we all got to pet it (feels like a nice purse probably Chanel).

We finished up with Shawn who never did pull his zipper up and headed to Lafayette where for 20 minutes I learned about why I should not drink RedBull. Thank you ICarly, so I agreed that I would cut back on the RedBull consumption. I really did agree to that. Good Lord. Lafayette sucked so back to BR. I gotta say though the drive from Layfayette to Baton Rouge or whatever is pretty amazing, at least 30 miles is on a bridge over a swamp. Um how cool is that. There were nymph flies right under me as I drove.

For supper we had...you guessed it....alligator. Well really I think it was appropriate don't you? And who paid for supper? Ha no one, we all managed to put our phones away the entire day without checking them. We all walked with our heads a little higher after that, but then spent the next 2 hours texting and updating while Country Strong played in the background.......

110 degrees with humidity

excerts of conversation between Bons and ICarly -

hey carly, theres this thing on the right side of your steering wheel, its called a signal lever, when you move it up or down it sends a signal to your system and to other drivers you are turning.

oh, i have never used it.

clearly.

in other bright ideas/antics poor idea to go for a 5km at 11 am in sweats. after i dehydrated myself i found a K Store (like sev) and stood in the beer cooler cooling off until the clerk asked me if i was actually going to buy something. holy uptight.

the second classy move was going to the tatto shop for a consult. i was talking to the guy who was going to ink my body for life and this other guy comes in and says 'does anyone have a toyota camry?'. um no now back to me, he keeps going on and me as irritated as possible look outside and yeah it wasnt a toyota camry it was a toyota corolla and it was mine. mine that had rolled right into the middle of the street because i didnt put the parking brake on. i guess i needed a conversation with me about the lever between the drivers and passenger seat.

so tomorrow is Bons, TBouds and ICarly day (its their only day off) so we have declared it no phone day (lets see who breals first and to keep it interesting who ever breaks first has to buy supper). first we gonna hit up JC at Bethany Church then probably find me a cajun. kidding swamp tour i guess. maybe use one of the three cats they have as alligator bait. we have to do sitting things as TBouds broke her toe (smdh).

2652 kms thats the magic number

There, not there and back yet but there. Shit what a long ass haul today and what was up with the tropical downpour for 7 of the 13 hours? Really not necessary, whatevs, I rolled up to LSUlike i was in my senior year ready to rule the school.

But first the day, started out with just a rank fire alarm at 05.30, ha my first thought was really and ready to rip the door open and yell around, but then I remembered grade 3 and was like oh is the door handle hot (it wasn't) needless to say I got up and rather then jumping in the shower and on the road I made the wide choice to watch Loverboy. Yeah Loverboy the 1989 classic with Patrick Dempsey as a gigolo. Classic. I am glad I dedicated 60 minutes. I feel like it was the equivalent of reading Romeo and Juliet in old English......

Wilson and I would like to take this opportunity right now to point out to any American's that may be reading this you people have to be the stupidest, most selfish drivers, no really. I don't think driving is that hard but you guys manage to make it difficult. I will share a secret with you - left lane faster, right line slower. Easy peasy try it out. When you look in that thing that is to the right of you on the windshield (its the rearview) and you see someone right behind you, move. Pretty straightforward. Also pay more taxes its just that simple.

So in other things learnt today, Loretta Lynn Ranch (one of the most visited attractions in Tennessee) hosts the AMA Amateur National Motocross Championship (sponsored by Red Bull btw). Its a six day motocross summer vacation that assembles 42 riders in 34 classes based on age, skill and displacement (I stole that). Anyway, I saw a sign that said Loretta Lynn Ranch and who doesn't love coal miners daughter? So I pulled in and holy guacamole fields, seriously fields (plural) of RV's. I was like what the hell JACKPOT. Free redbull, motocross racers and Loretta Lynn playing in the background? Who needs Baton Rouge, meh. As I walked around the ranch I was all I could do not to yell around "dew, dew". hahahaha

After that stop I decided there would be no more stops, only gas and if necessary washroom. Time is money damn it and I need to make some. So I threw on the tunes and drove like Ricky Bobby, not even lying. I decided two things, I still support nuclear power (duh don't build a reactor on a fault line) and I am getting a new tattoo, or rather an addition to my tat from last summer. I haven't figured out how yet but def gonna do it. Another tat in the dirty south, T Bouds is gonna do it with me too and hell maybe even ICarly will jump in the action. In any case, I had been thinking for about 8 months on what and where and finally it came to me on I55S where all epiphanies happen logically. Maybe peeps from the Liberal Party ought to spend some time here thinking, contemplating….just sayin.

I made my grand entrance into Baton Rouge at 20.15 pm and immediately knew exactly where to go just by instinct, okay I didn’t. But I did remember Boutin Balls (idk what they are so don’t ask they are just scrumptious, mmmmm Louisiana peeps you make some good food and after 2652 kms in 37 hours I so didn’t care the name of the delicious dish. So now starts my official just chill the fox out - read, sleep, run, sweat, eat, walk, sleep, sweat. Glorious.

I only have two to do’s while I am here – go to Church on Sunday and a tattoo. I like to keep it simple.

2652 kms thats the magic number

There, not there and back yet but there. Shit what a long ass haul today and what was up with the tropical downpour for 7 of the 13 hours? Really not necessary, whatevs, I rolled up to LSUlike i was in my senior year ready to rule the school.

But first the day, started out with just a rank fire alarm at 05.30, ha my first thought was really and ready to rip the door open and yell around, but then I remembered grade 3 and was like oh is the door handle hot (it wasn't) needless to say I got up and rather then jumping in the shower and on the road I made the wide choice to watch Loverboy. Yeah Loverboy the 1989 classic with Patrick Dempsey as a gigolo. Classic. I am glad I dedicated 60 minutes. I feel like it was the equivalent of reading Romeo and Juliet in old English......

Wilson and I would like to take this opportunity right now to point out to any American's that may be reading this you people have to be the stupidest, most selfish drivers, no really. I don't think driving is that hard but you guys manage to make it difficult. I will share a secret with you - left lane faster, right line slower. Easy peasy try it out. When you look in that thing that is to the right of you on the windshield (its the rearview) and you see someone right behind you, move. Pretty straightforward. Also pay more taxes its just that simple.

So in other things learnt today, Loretta Lynn Ranch (one of the most visited attractions in Tennessee) hosts the AMA Amateur National Motocross Championship (sponsored by Red Bull btw). Its a six day motocross summer vacation that assembles 42 riders in 34 classes based on age, skill and displacement (I stole that). Anyway, I saw a sign that said Loretta Lynn Ranch and who doesn't love coal miners daughter? So I pulled in and holy guacamole fields, seriously fields (plural) of RV's. I was like what the hell JACKPOT. Free redbull, motocross racers and Loretta Lynn playing in the background? Who needs Baton Rouge, meh. As I walked around the ranch I was all I could do not to yell around "dew, dew". hahahaha

After that stop I decided there would be no more stops, only gas and if necessary washroom. Time is money damn it and I need to make some. So I threw on the tunes and drove like Ricky Bobby, not even lying. I decided two things, I still support nuclear power (duh don't build a reactor on a fault line) and I am getting a new tattoo, or rather an addition to my tat from last summer. I haven't figured out how yet but def gonna do it. Another tat in the dirty south, T Bouds is gonna do it with me too and hell maybe even ICarly will jump in the action. In any case, I had been thinking for about 8 months on what and where and finally it came to me on I55S where all epiphanies happen logically. Maybe peeps from the Liberal Party ought to spend some time here thinking, contemplating….just sayin.

I made my grand entrance into Baton Rouge at 20.15 pm and immediately knew exactly where to go just by instinct, okay I didn’t. But I did remember Boutin Balls (idk what they are so don’t ask they are just scrumptious, mmmmm Louisiana peeps you make some good food and after 2652 kms in 37 hours I so didn’t care the name of the delicious dish. So now starts my official just chill the fox out - read, sleep, run, sweat, eat, walk, sleep, sweat. Glorious.

I only have two to do’s while I am here – go to Church on Sunday and a tattoo. I like to keep it simple.

2652 kms thats the magic number

There, not there and back yet but there. Shit what a long ass haul today and what was up with the tropical downpour for 7 of the 13 hours? Really not necessary, whatevs, I rolled up to LSUlike i was in my senior year ready to rule the school.

But first the day, started out with just a rank fire alarm at 05.30, ha my first thought was really and ready to rip the door open and yell around, but then I remembered grade 3 and was like oh is the door handle hot (it wasn't) needless to say I got up and rather then jumping in the shower and on the road I made the wide choice to watch Loverboy. Yeah Loverboy the 1989 classic with Patrick Dempsey as a gigolo. Classic. I am glad I dedicated 60 minutes. I feel like it was the equivalent of reading Romeo and Juliet in old English......

Wilson and I would like to take this opportunity right now to point out to any American's that may be reading this you people have to be the stupidest, most selfish drivers, no really. I don't think driving is that hard but you guys manage to make it difficult. I will share a secret with you - left lane faster, right line slower. Easy peasy try it out. When you look in that thing that is to the right of you on the windshield (its the rearview) and you see someone right behind you, move. Pretty straightforward. Also pay more taxes its just that simple.

So in other things learnt today, Loretta Lynn Ranch (one of the most visited attractions in Tennessee) hosts the AMA Amateur National Motocross Championship (sponsored by Red Bull btw). Its a six day motocross summer vacation that assembles 42 riders in 34 classes based on age, skill and displacement (I stole that). Anyway, I saw a sign that said Loretta Lynn Ranch and who doesn't love coal miners daughter? So I pulled in and holy guacamole fields, seriously fields (plural) of RV's. I was like what the hell JACKPOT. Free redbull, motocross racers and Loretta Lynn playing in the background? Who needs Baton Rouge, meh. As I walked around the ranch I was all I could do not to yell around "dew, dew". hahahaha

After that stop I decided there would be no more stops, only gas and if necessary washroom. Time is money damn it and I need to make some. So I threw on the tunes and drove like Ricky Bobby, not even lying. I decided two things, I still support nuclear power (duh don't build a reactor on a fault line) and I am getting a new tattoo, or rather an addition to my tat from last summer. I haven't figured out how yet but def gonna do it. Another tat in the dirty south, T Bouds is gonna do it with me too and hell maybe even ICarly will jump in the action. In any case, I had been thinking for about 8 months on what and where and finally it came to me on I55S where all epiphanies happen logically. Maybe peeps from the Liberal Party ought to spend some time here thinking, contemplating….just sayin.

I made my grand entrance into Baton Rouge at 20.15 pm and immediately knew exactly where to go just by instinct, okay I didn’t. But I did remember Boutin Balls (idk what they are so don’t ask they are just scrumptious, mmmmm Louisiana peeps you make some good food and after 2652 kms in 37 hours I so didn’t care the name of the delicious dish. So now starts my official just chill the fox out - read, sleep, run, sweat, eat, walk, sleep, sweat. Glorious.

I only have two to do’s while I am here – go to Church on Sunday and a tattoo. I like to keep it simple.

wait i remembered

Two things of note - firstly if you plan on embarking on a 26 hour trip do not do 62 lunges and 70 squats the day before....just saying

Secondly, um I don't know if any other travellers or American's are concerned but there is an awful lot of Adult Superstores off the interstate in Ohio....really? As such I did not stop in proceeding rest areas

Eat my dust, burn my rubber

True to form I did leave before 9 but not at 5 am, perfect even managed a bowl of cereal before I left, s m r t. As noted before I bought a huge tin of Tim Horton's coffee for my cousin and this can well, it has become my "wilson". It rides shotgun with me with a seatbelt, we chat about the endless corn fields in Ohio and who we can totally see why Children of the Corn came to fruition. But best of all, Timmy listens to me sing like I am on stage to a crowd of 38,000 and being broadcast live world wide just singing.

On that note, thank you thank you and thank you to my sister Bev for the satellite radio, will get materially recognized on this trip. I loved rolling up in Cincinnati listening to Shade 45 I totally fit in.

On the other hand I would like to find the creators of talk radio and give em a cuff upside the head....with a hammer. Like really its like everyone is entitled to my opinion, good grief and I don't think of the talkers were happy it was Obama's 50th bday today. (Wilson and I sang happy birthday.)

I made it to northern Kentucky which was my goal and if I get up early enough I should be able to hit Baton Rouge tomorrow night. Yes, yes and yes. Definitely winning and in time for the Jersey Shore premier I LOVE HOLIDAYS.

Nothing to report on the food -Applebees cha always gourmet and the weather is just regular Ottawa hot, not deep south hot yet, thats tomorrow just over the top excited

Pre Cannonball Run 2011

"I got that 'excited/scared' feeling. Like 98-percent excited, 2-percent scared. Or maybe it's more. It could be, it could be 98-percent scared, 2-percent excited but that's what makes it so intense."

Thank you Owen Wilson for summing it up so eloquently and thank you Michael Bay for directing Armageddon, really quite the classic. Anyway I am pretty much ready, I getting up at the crack of dawn, well before 9 anyway, and hitting the road. I am gonna figure out how to post pictures on this damn blog, I tell ya blogger will not win this round, oh and I have decided to call this trip "cannonball run 2011" thank you to my brother Bill (even though he didn't like my status on FB I will still give him a hat tip) for the idea.

I checked the temperature and its +37 but feels like 50! WTF imma cook, but really I love the heat probably why I will do well in hell...just saying. But my cousin Taryne, who probably won't read this and got a mention, has a pool and air con and if that fails man you can find me in a Target just shopping with Housewives of Baton Rouge.

Taryne has requested Timmy's coffee (puhleeze), smarties (I bet if they had smarties in America they would be willing to pay more tax and thus the issue of the debt ceiling falls to the wayside and more important issues like red smarties vs blue arise ;) and dark chocolate um hello America its more healthy for you? yeesh

Taryne has informed me that she has a pool, I don't care if the pool hasn't been cleaned this century at +50 imma be diving, its probably one of those little kid pools that are on sale at London Drugs but ah shit, who cares I will be in Louisana with what I am sure are all my second cousins.

Peeps I am out I have to prep the car for the am (this includes taking a qtip and cleaning the vents, vacuuming - cha it means filling up the windshield washer fluid (not taking a drink) and the gas tank). I will update from America tomorrow with pictures damn it.

bons j

Life's about being epic - isn't it?

Again the yearly what the hell should do I do with my down time is being mulled. I carefully considered options - guest as my own William and Kate (Trevor & Hannah) in lovely England, guest of my beautiful sister Bev (and yes damn it I would be a guest) but I simply could not forget the beauty and and kindness of the southern United States. And of course my amazing cousin Taryne and her bro ICarly (there's a new addition - Tex [Michelle]). So on Thursday am or maybe tomorrow afternoon, who knows that's the beauty of holidays :), I will depart for my epic journey across the United States.

I haven't decided a whole lot about the trip except 1) its happening and 2) I am meeting some friends in Nashville. I have bought a ridiculous amount of books that I won't be able to read but will look intelligent having them in view and really thats what counts.

I haven't decided what the whole purpose of this trip will be - am I committed to an organized religion? Do I believe in aliens? Is there a purpose in life? What does the debt ceiling mean for First Nations? Will Wedding Crashers remain my most favourite movie? There is a cache to think about for sure.

I will do my best to blog everyday. Thanks for reading